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Leah's Mom
My almost 15 month old threw a big one when we left the park, complete with back arching, kicking, screaming, etc. I felt bad. What do you do during tantrums? When did your kids start throwing them?
Answer
Around your child's age they start to get big. My daughter Sarah (child #3) was especially prone to them, because she is very strong-willed, has lots of energy, and shows her emotions easily. She would be super excited, or super giggly or really upset. She was sweet, but definitely not a subtle child. I never rewarded her for throwing a tantrum or gave her what she was crying and screaming about, but she would just get very upset or angry, sometimes just frustrated over a toy or situation, and this was her outlet. Sometimes she was overtired, overstimulated, or hungry and that was part of the reason that she would get out of control.
Handling tantrums:
1. Make sure your child doesn't get too tired, too hungry, or too stimulated as much as possible. This can prevent some issues.
2. React calmly. Your child may be out of control of his own emotions, but as a mom you have to keep your cool. If you can, continue what you are doing (i.e. leaving the park, shopping, eating), and respond to them calmly in a lull (I'm sorry, you can't have that today/it's time to go home now). Sometimes it worked for my daughter if she was deliberately fussing on purpose to say, "wow, look at all those people watching you cry".
3. If the child's actions or noise is a huge distraction where you are (library, church, etc), remove them calmly and quickly.
4. If you are at home, you can put them in a crib or in their bedroom and tell them, "I'm sorry you are mad/sad. It's ok to be mad/sad, but I don't want to hear screaming. It's too loud. You can come out when you are done crying. If you want to tell me something, you need to talk nicely and not scream." Sometimes they come out screaming and you have to deposit them back again. Eventually they will wear out and realize it's a lot of effort and it's not accomplishing much, but they can still have that emotional outlet if they need it. Sarah learned this, and eventually if she would get very frustrated or angry and start yelling she would run to her room all by herself and throw herself onto her pillow on her toddler bed and cry without me having to say a word. Then she would get over it and come out like nothing happened and I would hug her and we would talk about it.
We once were traveling across country and Sarah was cranky. We had stopped at a McDonald's for lunch and I asked her if she wanted to sit in a high chair or a booster. She kept changing her mind. The first two times I switched her because she asked. Then I said this time is the last time to choose. She chose the booster and I got her into it and she changed her mind and wanted the high chair I said no. She started screaming and crying. There weren't a lot of others in the restaurant and she toned down to a major sulk and she wouldn't sit in her booster. I told her ok, time out over here until you are done crying and fussing. When you are done you can come sit in your booster and eat your food. I had her sit near the table. We just started eating without her and left her food in front of the booster on the table. She sat there and sulked and pouted and whined a little for a few minutes. While she was sitting there I went to get some ketchup and overheard a lady (who obviously had no children) say, "Look at that, that's child NEGLECT." I restrained myself from dumping fries on the lady because she didn't know what she was talking about, and definitely didn't know my child. By the time I got back to the table my child had climbed up in the booster and was happily munching her kids' meal.
It's really hard having a strong-willed child when they are toddlers. The great part is that they grow up, and then that strong will benefits them because it turns into determination and drive for whatever they really want to do. Although it was a struggle when she was small to handle her moods and her will, this daughter was also the one who when she was a teen, always kept her room neat and always did her schoolwork, and she found an outlet for all her energy first in soccer, then in tennis. She's now 19 and in college, very happy, driven to succeed, and is very good at channeling her emotion into tennis, artwork, her job, cleaning her apartment etc.
Good luck!
Around your child's age they start to get big. My daughter Sarah (child #3) was especially prone to them, because she is very strong-willed, has lots of energy, and shows her emotions easily. She would be super excited, or super giggly or really upset. She was sweet, but definitely not a subtle child. I never rewarded her for throwing a tantrum or gave her what she was crying and screaming about, but she would just get very upset or angry, sometimes just frustrated over a toy or situation, and this was her outlet. Sometimes she was overtired, overstimulated, or hungry and that was part of the reason that she would get out of control.
Handling tantrums:
1. Make sure your child doesn't get too tired, too hungry, or too stimulated as much as possible. This can prevent some issues.
2. React calmly. Your child may be out of control of his own emotions, but as a mom you have to keep your cool. If you can, continue what you are doing (i.e. leaving the park, shopping, eating), and respond to them calmly in a lull (I'm sorry, you can't have that today/it's time to go home now). Sometimes it worked for my daughter if she was deliberately fussing on purpose to say, "wow, look at all those people watching you cry".
3. If the child's actions or noise is a huge distraction where you are (library, church, etc), remove them calmly and quickly.
4. If you are at home, you can put them in a crib or in their bedroom and tell them, "I'm sorry you are mad/sad. It's ok to be mad/sad, but I don't want to hear screaming. It's too loud. You can come out when you are done crying. If you want to tell me something, you need to talk nicely and not scream." Sometimes they come out screaming and you have to deposit them back again. Eventually they will wear out and realize it's a lot of effort and it's not accomplishing much, but they can still have that emotional outlet if they need it. Sarah learned this, and eventually if she would get very frustrated or angry and start yelling she would run to her room all by herself and throw herself onto her pillow on her toddler bed and cry without me having to say a word. Then she would get over it and come out like nothing happened and I would hug her and we would talk about it.
We once were traveling across country and Sarah was cranky. We had stopped at a McDonald's for lunch and I asked her if she wanted to sit in a high chair or a booster. She kept changing her mind. The first two times I switched her because she asked. Then I said this time is the last time to choose. She chose the booster and I got her into it and she changed her mind and wanted the high chair I said no. She started screaming and crying. There weren't a lot of others in the restaurant and she toned down to a major sulk and she wouldn't sit in her booster. I told her ok, time out over here until you are done crying and fussing. When you are done you can come sit in your booster and eat your food. I had her sit near the table. We just started eating without her and left her food in front of the booster on the table. She sat there and sulked and pouted and whined a little for a few minutes. While she was sitting there I went to get some ketchup and overheard a lady (who obviously had no children) say, "Look at that, that's child NEGLECT." I restrained myself from dumping fries on the lady because she didn't know what she was talking about, and definitely didn't know my child. By the time I got back to the table my child had climbed up in the booster and was happily munching her kids' meal.
It's really hard having a strong-willed child when they are toddlers. The great part is that they grow up, and then that strong will benefits them because it turns into determination and drive for whatever they really want to do. Although it was a struggle when she was small to handle her moods and her will, this daughter was also the one who when she was a teen, always kept her room neat and always did her schoolwork, and she found an outlet for all her energy first in soccer, then in tennis. She's now 19 and in college, very happy, driven to succeed, and is very good at channeling her emotion into tennis, artwork, her job, cleaning her apartment etc.
Good luck!
Any suggestions on traveling with infant on a plane?
paula r
I will be traveling ALONE with my 10 months old son for a 15 hours non-stop flight very soon. Any suggestions on how i can make it easier on myself and on him? I heard about the sucking bottle when take off and land to avoid his ear popping. The travel agent booked us the very last row. but then I heard that the best is the bulk head. I am not sure having a big screen in front of me and my baby though. He crawls everywhere. Not yet walking by himself. What do i do to entertain him? Can I bring a electronic toys on board? Is there any traveling gear that I should bring with me? I will have a travel system stroller and the car seat with me. I am afriaid it will be really tough when we get to the screening. Just a bit nervous since I will be going alone. That's a long flight too. Please help.
Answer
You have so many important questions! I found this site that is probably just what you need to read. It has information on everything listed below. I copied it from the site to give you an idea. Best wishes on your trip.
These baby and child air travel tips are from flying families worldwide
.
Get tips about:
Airlines
At the airport
Diaper changing
Meals on board
Entertainment and playing
Getting around
Health and hygiene
Packing
Safety
Sleeping on board
Staying sane
Travel planning
What happens on board
What to wear
You have so many important questions! I found this site that is probably just what you need to read. It has information on everything listed below. I copied it from the site to give you an idea. Best wishes on your trip.
These baby and child air travel tips are from flying families worldwide
.
Get tips about:
Airlines
At the airport
Diaper changing
Meals on board
Entertainment and playing
Getting around
Health and hygiene
Packing
Safety
Sleeping on board
Staying sane
Travel planning
What happens on board
What to wear
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