Q. I understand in the long run having a child is very expensive, especially when they get to school age and need this and that and a car and college, etc. But I want to have a child in the next year or so. My husband is convinced that he's not having one until he's "financially stable" when in essence really isn't possible for most people. B/c he means he wants to have enough saved up for EVERYTHING before we even have one... which unless you're a millionaire i don't believe is possible. So to start off, how much do you really need extra a month? We both make a pretty good amount of money for where we live. A crib, clothes, diapers, medicine, etc would be given to us to start off with by family members and friends... I know most people buy newborn and 1-3 month stuff for showers so I plan on, when I get pregnant, buying one thing of diapers every week that i'm pregnant and probably clothes as well. so with all of that in consideration how much do you think a couple needs to begin?
The Gimp- he does want a baby. He would have one now if he thought we had the money. He wants to spoil his child and give it everything he can. And i know it's a lot overall... i just meant an average per month for neccessary and unexpected things. But thanks for the input.
The Gimp- he does want a baby. He would have one now if he thought we had the money. He wants to spoil his child and give it everything he can. And i know it's a lot overall... i just meant an average per month for neccessary and unexpected things. But thanks for the input.
Answer
One thing that you can tell your husband is that if you are waiting until you are "financially ready" you never will be. As your income increases, usually so do your expenses. I can just let you know what my husband and I did. We did exactly what you suggested about the diapers, and currently have over 2,000 diapers waiting for our son (I am due basically any second now). I bought clothes at the end of each season based on what his size should be for next year. Our crib, which converts from a crib, to a toddler bed, to a day bed to a full size bed, cost about $350. I plan on breastfeeding, but we did get some formula just in case, but we didn't actually even pay for that. Similac, Nestlee, and another brand sent me full size free samples after creating a registry at Babies R Us. We bought a travel system instead of buying a car seat and stroller seperate, that was $200. I bought my bobby pillow off ebay, for $17 (included the pillow and 3 slip covers). My breastpump was a really good find, usually $300, I found it on a one-day sale for $150. Remember (especially if this pregnancy is planned) that you will have about 8 months from the time you KNOW you're pregnant to plan/pre-buy. I was overwhelmed at first, but I have been told by experienced mothers that I have WAY more than enough, and I have not had to buy anything since I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. If you space out your purchases you will be fine. I do not work (I am a student) and my husband just has a "regular" job. We are not poor, but we are not rolling in cash either. We have been absolutely fine financially and one thing you can do is if one of your income's covers your bills, you can put the other income into savings to create a cushion for when you are off of work. I hope this helped.
One thing that you can tell your husband is that if you are waiting until you are "financially ready" you never will be. As your income increases, usually so do your expenses. I can just let you know what my husband and I did. We did exactly what you suggested about the diapers, and currently have over 2,000 diapers waiting for our son (I am due basically any second now). I bought clothes at the end of each season based on what his size should be for next year. Our crib, which converts from a crib, to a toddler bed, to a day bed to a full size bed, cost about $350. I plan on breastfeeding, but we did get some formula just in case, but we didn't actually even pay for that. Similac, Nestlee, and another brand sent me full size free samples after creating a registry at Babies R Us. We bought a travel system instead of buying a car seat and stroller seperate, that was $200. I bought my bobby pillow off ebay, for $17 (included the pillow and 3 slip covers). My breastpump was a really good find, usually $300, I found it on a one-day sale for $150. Remember (especially if this pregnancy is planned) that you will have about 8 months from the time you KNOW you're pregnant to plan/pre-buy. I was overwhelmed at first, but I have been told by experienced mothers that I have WAY more than enough, and I have not had to buy anything since I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. If you space out your purchases you will be fine. I do not work (I am a student) and my husband just has a "regular" job. We are not poor, but we are not rolling in cash either. We have been absolutely fine financially and one thing you can do is if one of your income's covers your bills, you can put the other income into savings to create a cushion for when you are off of work. I hope this helped.
I am going to be a 19 year old father. Any advice?
Charlie
We planned this and we are very happy. I only want good advice and no criticism for being a teenage father. Thank you
I guess people don't read all of it, we planned it. And no abortions
Answer
No criticism here :)
First of all, I think its great that you both planned this pregnancy. Most young people don't & things become difficult. I live in an area where young people have babies, either just for the money or because they are careless so they just have abortions or when the baby is born they just palm their babies off to their parents/grand parents.
If you've graduated year 12, that's fantastic! It shouldn't take you long to find a good job if you haven't already. Do you have a job? If so, you're safe. If not, you should probably get out there & try to obtain a good job. Babies are not cheap.
You'll not only have to take care of yourself, but now you'll have to take care of your partner (& your baby when it comes along). Your own little family.
Book in for a Pregnancy Workshop. This is something that you & your partner can do together to bond more with your unborn baby. You'll learn everything you need to know. My fiance & I are first time parents & we planned our pregnancy too. We just attended a Pregnancy Weekend Workshop, which we both thought was great. We learnt about everything (be sure to take a notepad).
When buying baby items: Do it on a budget. My fiance & I are due to have our first baby in mid-April & we've bought everything on a budget. We haven't spent over $1,000 yet & we've bought a brand new travel system (pram/baby capsule/connection), 2nd hand change table with bath, 2nd hand & brand new clothing, brand new breast pump, 2nd hand electric steriliser, brand new potty (when toilet training is necessary) & quite a few other things. We're buying brand new cloth nappies next month, which will cost us $500 & a 2nd hand cot/toddler bed. Buy from places such as eBay, trading post (if from Australia), etc...We bought some stuff brand new & some stuff second hand. Just keep your options open when buying items for your baby & don't just buy what you see, wait & see if prices go down & do your research.
When the time comes to have your baby. My only suggestions are:
- Take it how it comes, you'll learn as you go along
- As soon as your partner hits 13 weeks start buying your baby stuff (trust me, the weeks go very fast)
- Don't listen to what everyone else says 'its your baby, not theirs"
- If people want to help then let them help You'll need it once your baby is born)
- Look after yourselves as a family
- Pick baby names that you both want, not what others want (& don't worry about what others think)
- SUPPORT YOUR PARTNER (not only will she need it but she will appreciate it)
- Have fun being parents
No criticism here :)
First of all, I think its great that you both planned this pregnancy. Most young people don't & things become difficult. I live in an area where young people have babies, either just for the money or because they are careless so they just have abortions or when the baby is born they just palm their babies off to their parents/grand parents.
If you've graduated year 12, that's fantastic! It shouldn't take you long to find a good job if you haven't already. Do you have a job? If so, you're safe. If not, you should probably get out there & try to obtain a good job. Babies are not cheap.
You'll not only have to take care of yourself, but now you'll have to take care of your partner (& your baby when it comes along). Your own little family.
Book in for a Pregnancy Workshop. This is something that you & your partner can do together to bond more with your unborn baby. You'll learn everything you need to know. My fiance & I are first time parents & we planned our pregnancy too. We just attended a Pregnancy Weekend Workshop, which we both thought was great. We learnt about everything (be sure to take a notepad).
When buying baby items: Do it on a budget. My fiance & I are due to have our first baby in mid-April & we've bought everything on a budget. We haven't spent over $1,000 yet & we've bought a brand new travel system (pram/baby capsule/connection), 2nd hand change table with bath, 2nd hand & brand new clothing, brand new breast pump, 2nd hand electric steriliser, brand new potty (when toilet training is necessary) & quite a few other things. We're buying brand new cloth nappies next month, which will cost us $500 & a 2nd hand cot/toddler bed. Buy from places such as eBay, trading post (if from Australia), etc...We bought some stuff brand new & some stuff second hand. Just keep your options open when buying items for your baby & don't just buy what you see, wait & see if prices go down & do your research.
When the time comes to have your baby. My only suggestions are:
- Take it how it comes, you'll learn as you go along
- As soon as your partner hits 13 weeks start buying your baby stuff (trust me, the weeks go very fast)
- Don't listen to what everyone else says 'its your baby, not theirs"
- If people want to help then let them help You'll need it once your baby is born)
- Look after yourselves as a family
- Pick baby names that you both want, not what others want (& don't worry about what others think)
- SUPPORT YOUR PARTNER (not only will she need it but she will appreciate it)
- Have fun being parents
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