Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Advice for taking our 19 month old son on a long-haul flight (30+ hours)?

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Steven Jen


Hi, later this year my partner and I are taking our son who will be 19 months old on his first ever flight but I for one am dreading it as it is a long-haul flight going from New Zealand to the UK (via Australia/Singapore and possibly Dubai - depending on which airline we finally decide to book with) for a 3 week stay.

As most boys probably are, our son is very energetic, won't stay still very long at all and gets very bored easily so needs lots of entertaining.

The trip will be well worth it when we do get to the UK as our son has never met any of my side of the family who are all over there. So knowing that alone will help us cope somewhat with any stresses of flying with a young child.

Any advice/tip's/experiences shared etc to help ease the journey will be very much appreciated.

Thanks



Answer
I'm a former Flight Attendant and I fly transatlantics alone a lot with my three children.

This is a long flight and you're going to need to be organized. I wont lie to you and I have to admit that this was probably the worst age for air travel. They love to move but don't have the reasoning to talk about the fact that sometimes they have to be seated, etc.

I recommend that instead of a diaper bag, purse, etc. you opt for a large backpack. Mine goes up to my knee when placed on the ground. Bring at least two changes of clothes and way more diapers than he usually goes through in the same time frame. He will need more than usual. Take out packs of 10, straight from the pack so that they're really flat and put in a plastic bag, Bind with rubber bands and this will make space. Clothes are rolled, placed in plastic and also bound with rubber bands. Split the supplies between both of you in case you're separated or just so that one can take him somewhere without having to fuss with the gear.

My kids at that age were too active for portable DVD players, although they were useful later. You actually have a number of options as far as gadgets that play movies so find out what works for you and if you think it'll keep him occupied. One tip I got was to burn the movies on to your hard drive if you're bringing a computer to save battery time while watching. Make sure he wears the headphones. Practice at home if necessary.

I found simple toys worked best; toy trucks, toy cars, plastic animals, coloring things (magadoodles as well as old fashioned pens and paper), chunky books with openable flaps, pinwheels, plastic rings that click together, pipe cleaners, play dough, etc. Nothing that makes noise. Even a quiet noise played 10,000 will drive your fellow passengers batty. Make sure some of the toys are new (or at least never seen before) so you can "present" them at critical times, like to offset a tantrum and after the plane pulls away from the gate and everyone is supposed to be seated.

Try to get him off of bottles and on to a sippy cup if possible. But if he's like my son, good luck! Chances are he wont so opt for the bottles with disposable plastic liners. Get the flat liners (not "pop-ins"), premeasure the powder in each, roll it up and put in a ziplock.

I really recommend that he have his own seat. This is a LONG time to be on your laps and he's going to be big and heavy. If you opt to save money, try to get an empty seat on the plane beside you. They often do this for families. Be really nice at check-in.

I always fly with a car seat. This is a whole, big subject. Babies are quieter and more comfortable in their own familiar car seat, as well as much, much safer. It's not that big a deal to take it along. I simply strapped mine to a metal luggage cart and pulled it behind me with the carry-on bags. You do want to check your car seat's compatibility, before you book. Make sure you can use it on board. Different airlines have different rules.

Be sure not to check it as luggage. They often get lost and/or broken en route so either use it on board or gate-check it. You may want to arrange a car seat at your destination but please never use one from a rental car company. Have relatives ask around and make sure it's not too old.

I really recommend a good baby carrier. It is the secret to successfully flying with children. He's far too big for one of those dire "front packs" (like the Bjorn) but something comfortable and perhaps with a back carry is good. If you don't already use a sling or wrap, you may want to get a Mei Tai, Ergo, Beco or similar carrier. They're soft, easy to take along and are magic for calming overtired babies on flights (experience speaking!) Also, in big scary airports, toddlers don't always sit nicely in their strollers and want to be held. As a Flight Attendant, I saw far too many parents trying to get through airports with clingy and sleeping babies over their shoulders. Don't be one of them!

Please don't fret over ears. It's actually a myth that babies have to suck on something for take-off and landing. Sure, if you want to offer a cup to drink, not on landing but at the top of descent (landing is too late) when everyone's ears have to reverse pressure, do so. This is about an hour before. What I do recommend is that you schedule a doctor's visit and make sure he doesn't have any ear blockages or infections. These are dangerous and painful to fly with so just have someone look in his ears. We "caught" one in my toddler son once. But on the flight itself, there is no reason to unnecessarily wake up your child or force him to drink if he doesn't want to.

For more information, nine years ago I wrote an article on this subject. It's based on both my personal and professional experience of flying with children. It's totally non-commercial and other parents from around the world have contributed;
http://flyingwithchildren1.blogspot.com

Have a great tr

How can I ask family members to move out without ruining our relationship?




FiFi


I am currently seven mths pregnant, and have an eighteen month old son. I live in a three bedroom apartment with my husband. We both work, I will be finishing up soon to have baby number two and I am really looking forward to spending quality time at home with both of the babies after working full-time for the last few months.

My problem is this. My husband's sister and her boyfriend are living with us. We live in Australia, they are here on a 12 mth working visa.

When they were thinking about coming over, they asked if they could stay with us. We did say that they can stay as long as they like. I assumed that they would be looking for jobs straight away, going out, meeting people, travelling around to see the country etc. We have given them whatever we can, the spare room, I cooked for them for the first two weeks, I have given them my old car to drive around. We haven't asked them for anything.

So far, they have been here for five weeks, and have pretty much done nothing. They sit on the couch all day long, watching crappy daytime tv and using up our internet quota (we have had to increase our plan already). They don't clean, or cook a meal for us. They don't go anywhere apart from down to the shops. They don't contribute to the household in any way. They both smoke like chimneys, and they sit out in our back patio and smoke under the washing line with all my clean clothes on it. They haven't applied for a single job.

It is REALLY stressing me out. I get up at 5am every day to get ready for work, get my baby up and out to daycare. Its winter here now, so its cold and dark. I work all day, come home in peak hour traffic, and when I get home they are ALWAYS here, just sat in front of tv. I would usually put cartoons on for my toddler while I make dinner, but they are always watching stupid old sit coms. If I get his toys out and play with him (we play in the living room) they just sit there and I feel self conscious. They offer unsolicited parenting advice. The boyfriend distracts the baby when I am trying to get him to eat dinner, and plays really rough with him right before bedtime and gets him all riled up. When I have a day at home during the week, they seem to get annoyed that I am in the house, kids shows are on the tv and toys are everywhere. They just get really moody and stay in their room, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I can't let my toddler play out the back anymore because they are always out there smoking, and there are cigarette butts everywhere.

My husband knows how pissed off I am getting, we fight about it pretty much every day. But he thinks that its my fault for saying they could stay. His opinion is that we have made our bed.

I don't think I am going to be able to cope when the new baby comes. I have been working so hard so that we can afford for me to take a couple of years off now, and I have been looking forward to it so much.

I don't know what to do. They don't have anywhere else to go, they don't know anybody in this country. My husband doesn't like having them here, but he is not as stressed out about it as I am because I have to deal with the cleaning up and looking after the baby, so it doesn't affect him as much. Our bills are all going to be huge, they have everything turned on all day, and we are about to lose my income.

I find it really hard to say anything to them without sounding really confrontational. They both tend to get very defensive, and I get nervous and start talking too fast and blabbering and apologising.

What can I do?



Answer
Yeah, you said they can stay. Now you say you've changed your mind. Helping out relatives is the right thing to do, as long as they don't use you and that is exactly what they are doing, but it's not like you haven't noticed. The way they behave is simply rude. They are lazy and now they've found someone to support that, great for them! This is a great deal of stress for a pregnant woman with an infant on her hand. Take responsibility for your benefit, tell them all to get their act together, your husband included, sorry. So you are seven months pregnant now? A good idea would be two give them a two month deadline to find jobs and a flat and to be out of your house when the new baby comes. They are young, I'm sure they can and will manage, if they really want to.




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